Day Sixteen & Seventeen

TASK 16: WRITE A LIST OF THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE BY NOW AND FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR NOT DOING THEM BY WRITING IT down.

I would have been skeptical about this two weeks ago but I’ve come to realize that conversations with yourself is key to sanity.

I feel like we’ve equated people who talk to themselves to being weird, but as someone who puts a lot of value to conversations, I’m surprised I haven’t talked to myself more. I do the occasional get ready with me conversations and cook with me ones as well, but I haven’t checked in with myself or forgiven myself until I started this. I remember doing that as a kid though. I guess it’s time to build that habit again.

THINGS I WISH I’VE DONE

1. Gone to a beach alone. Geez, I’ve wanted to for the past year and now I can’t go near a well let alone an ocean.

The others are no where near as light, so I’ll write them down in my book.

Writing each one down and then saying that I’ve forgiven myself is beyond powerful. I’ll add this to the list of things I’d like to keep doing after this challenge. Regardless of what it looks like to other people.

TASK 17: CREATE A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE AND WHY IT IS IMPORTANT. IT CAN BE SPIRITUAL, MATERIALISTIC AND EVEN PEOPLE.

This is what comes to mind for now;

1. I have an amazing support system. A mix of friends, family and my own resilience.
2. I have a phone that helps me keep in touch with people I love.
3. I have access to so many things. A fridge, a television, a roof over my head, stable WiFi, electricity and so much more.
4. I have access to education which seems annoying at times due to it’s rigidness but has played a huge role in my confidence and in building who I am.
5. I have a desk. I realized how luxurious that was when I stayed alone.
6. I have access to books. I can read and understand and know things.

The privilege with which I’ve been living makes it beyond easy for this list to go on.

I don’t have much to say. I know that one day, I’ll help people reach this stage of comfort and I hope to do so soon. I have plans that I am excited to carry out in the future.

Eagerly,

Amulya.

PS: Focusing on myself has been harder than getting work done. I thought I procrastinate while doing homework but self care has taken first place on that list. I’ll keep trying though.

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